A Scout's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse (2015)

Starring:  David Koechner and some kids.Plotline:  A biological outbreak hits a small town where people are and zombie shenanigans occur.  Picture Shaun of the Dead mixed with Superbad.Review:  There may be spoilers in this review, I really don't know if there will be or not because the movie was really just a generic zombie movie and didn't add any good twists at all.  When I said it was like Shaun of the Dead mixed with Superbad I meant it, but only in the bad ways.  Everything bad about Shaun of the Dead (albeit there isn't much) and everything bad about Superbad (Except Christopher Mintz-Platz, he wasn't in this thank the lord) combines into this movie.  To the point of they rip off two scenes pretty distinctly and poorly.1.) The scene in Shaun of the Dead when Don't Stop me Now by Queen plays and they're uselessly beating up a zombie, the super fun and hilarious scene done really well, remember that?  There's a scene similar in this movie where one of the scouts kids goes into his scout masters house only to find his scout master is a zombie who in his real life was obsessed with Dolly Parton.  He scouts the house (like that play on words there?) and finds the zombie, they struggle and hit the cd player only to have 9-5 by Dolly Parton play through the speakers while they fight each other.  Not a great scene and kinda bothered me.2.) Remember the hilarious scene in Superbad where Michael Cera is singing "These Eyes" and everyone is copying him?  One of the scouts in this sees a zombie with a Britney Spears shirt and starts to sing Hit me Baby, One more time and the zombie starts to copy him, then one of his scout buddies starts to copy him.  Piss Poor in my opinion.Another frustration I find with a lot of zombie movies is that "zombie" changes a lot from movie to movie.  In Shaun of the Dead they're lumbering beasts, in the remake of Dawn of the Dead they're fast running psychos, in the Night of the Living Dead they want hum as for their brains, in Land of the Dead they get some of their motor skills back and want a society of their own.  In other movies zombies get mutated and turn into creatures from your darkest nightmares.  This one there was a huge mix, which was confusing to me.  Some were slow, ambling creatures, some were fast runners.  At one point one of them crouches down on all fours (as his spine breaks the skin on his back) and charges our heroes in a Capoeira style (which made me think "Sweet, mutated zombies, that's cool), crashes into a car and we never see it again, nor do they talk about it.  The mutation affects animals as well, which doesn't happen in very many other zombie movies, moreover, that's why animals are awesome, because they aren't affected.  This movie didn't know which direction it was going.Then we get onto the whole of how horror movies have changed throughout the past 30 years (I know much more than that, but bare with me) and how in the 80's and 90's you would have really good, killer lines that were campy and funny and make the gore take a back seat.  Whereas in this, they characters are 16 year old boys who are so focused on sex and boobs and snap chatting that there isn't time for actual fun jokes.  One scene in this the heroes are being chased by zombies and one of the zombies (A "sexy" cop) gets caught in a fence and her shirt magically rips open, but rather than her entire shirt ripping, it just shows her giant fake boobs.  One of the kids sees them and is mesmerized by them to the point where he squeezes them and runs away all happy about it... Dude, this chick is undead and a fucking zombie.  You got problems you need to sort out when this apocalypse is over.Or the scene that emphasizes act three in the movie, where some swanky broad is making out with a guy, but says "We aren't having sex, we've only been dating 2 minutes, I'm not going down on you, I just put this gum in my mouth, but you can go down on me." then puts headphones in and is a bitch about... everything really, so you know she's gonna die.  Dude is about to go down on her when he gets killed by a zombie, the zombie is going to kill the girl, but not before he has a chance to go down on her for a bit and have her say "Mmm, your tongue is kind of cold." and look down to have it kill her.A scene where a granny zombie is trying to kill a hero and her teeth fall out, so she's trying to bite his ass with no teeth and he exclaims "Help, she's gumming my ass!"This movie had no idea where it was going and really fell short to me.  Not funny, not scary and really a lot more dumb than I had hoped.  Which sucks, because i had weirdly high hopes for this movie.  The one thing they did seemingly get right was the fact that the zombie "Apocalypse" only lasted like 3 days, and 2.5 of those days were where the first couple zombies were ambling around and not being noticed.  So it was one night and not then it was over.I wouldn't recommend you see this movie unless you REALLLLLLY love Superbad, but even then it lacked anything good from Superbad.This left a bad taste in my mouth, I'm gonna go see The Last Witch Hunter again.P.