Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)

Starring:  Old the oldies, Domhnall Gleeson, Oscar Isaac, John Boyega, Kylo Ren, Max von Sydow, Andy Serkis, Gwendoline ChristiePlotline:  Luke has fled, it's now up to three young upstarts to save the galaxy!  Or find Luke, or whatever.Review: I waited a full week to do this review, because I wanted at least a decent chunk of my friends to go see it, so I didn't get stabbed for this.  Why would I get stabbed you ask?  THERE WILL BE SPOILERS.  If you want a spoiler free review, go see the movie, that's my review.That being said, let's just dive into it.  I liked this movie a lot.  I can't say as I loved it, but I've only seen it once thus far.  I tried my damnedest to lessen the hype going in, because I was afraid of being let down like I was for Jurassic World (sorry, that movie sucks).  But even with that I was still very excited and wanted nothing more than to hear the opening musical number, and from that moment on I was basically hooked.  The movie didn't let down at all, if anything it was better than expected.  I wanted to go in thinking it would be as good as JJ Abrams Star Trek, it surpassed it by lightyears (see what I did there?) and left me wanting more.Being the loser I am, I have already ranked it in my mind as third best in the series, first being a New Hope, then Empire, This, Jedi, Sith/Phantom (could go either way dependent on the day and Attacks of the clones bottoms out at number 12 in a series of 7 movies so far. Before people get pissy and snotty and say that Empire is way better than A New Hope let me defend myself in two ways.  1.) I have this thing in a New Hope where Empire wouldn't exist without it and I find it more of a complete movie, because the second one didn't NEED to get made.  Empire had an abundance of character growth behind it, every character had an impressive arc and grew throughout Empire, even the robots, who shouldn't grow at all.  The second defence for my decision would be 2.) piss off, it's my opinion and this review is about VII, not V.Next, let's get the demon out of the closet.  Han Solo dies.  I knew it was going to happen, most people that had an ear to the ground already knew it was going to happen.  Harrison Ford wanted Han Solo to die at the end of VI, he also only signed a single movie contract for the franchise, so yeah, he died.  His death was done pretty well, not greasy or shitty.  It was classy and they gave one of the best antihero/hero characters in film history a proper sendoff.  Which is way more credit than I give George Lucas for doing, that guy Jar Jars it up way too much.  When Han dies, I really expected Chewbacca to go on a gigantic killing spree and murder basically the entire empire, but he doesn't.  He kills handful of guys and shoots the guy who kills Han, but doesn't kill him.  Then, when they're back on the planet with Leia, he doesn't even hug her, he walks right past her into obscurity.  Moreover, Leia doesn't even fucking glance at him, she looks right at the young lady who is the protagonist through the movie.  Her name is Rey, she's played by hot English actress Daisy Ridley.  Leia then walks up to Rey and hugs her, but not Chewie, don't hug the guy who was basically his fucking brother!  That made me a bit mad.Second Spoiler, the guy who kills Han Solo is Kylo Ren, his kid, Ben...Kylo Ben...weird.  He was supposed to be a Jedi, but got seduced by the dark side (most shirts say they have cookies, so I get that), goes on a rampage and kills all the Jedi but Luke Skywalker.  Luke takes the blame onto himself and flees to the first ever Jedi temple on an unknown planet, which we find out later that this temple is completely open, on a mountainous island and not a temple at all (maybe the temple is in his mind!  Man that's deep!)John Boyega plays Finn, a storm trooper who defects to the rebels because the bad guys just ain't right.  In the trailer I really thought he'd be super annoying, but he's not.  He's pretty funny, decently smart and has some good lines (the scene with him and Phasma at the end is hilarious to me).Oscar Isaac plays Poe Dameron, a character that was supposed to die, but doesn't, which is great because Isaac is the man.  He plays the rebels new best pilot and the owner/pal of BB-8, who is R2-D2 2.0 basically.  Dameron is entertaining and starts the banter off where the prequel trilogy had no feel of comedic banter.  He's the roguish devil similar to Han Solo was, that the prequels didn't have at all.Domhnall Gleeson plays General Hux, he's the new Grand Moff Tarkin.  Pretty badass and I'm happy that gingers are getting their proper dues in the world... represent!Kylo Ren is played by a guy that I think was in an emo band for the last 65 years, oh crap, it's actually Adam Driver, the awesome actor who was in "Inside Llewyn Davis" with Isaac and he just looks realllllly young and sad when he has his mask off.Carrie Fisher looks old, but I imagine that's what happens when you stop doing rails with John Belushi because he's dead for the past 30 years.Mark Hamill reprises his role as the villainous, yet hilarious Joker to Bale Batma....wait, he's play Luke Skywalker!  Looks like an old homeless man, but I got shivers when I saw him nonetheless.Third and possibly biggest spoiler... FUCKING ACKBAR IS IN THIS MOVIE!  IT'TH NOT A TRAP!Two scenes that confused me and upset me with Rey involved her firstly getting off her speeder bike thingy and going to a junk shoppe to sell her junk.  The problem with this is that she has a speeder bike that hovers and carries the stuff, sorry, DRAGS the stuff like 200 feet to sell it.  The second scene is right at the end where she goes to find Luke and lands at the bottom of the island, leaving Chewie and R2 behind so she can find Luke.... she walks up this mountain island thingy for like 3 minutes of movie time, all the while I'm saying "Bitch doesn't know she had a space ship that can land on the god damned top of the island? "  ALSO, she left behind Chewie and R2... what, they didn't want to see their old and one of their best friends, maybe break the news of Han being dead?  They just wanted this random girl to walk up this mountain alone?  What if Luke wasn't there?  What if it wasn't him?  You know what this is a recipe for guys?  Assault.  Women's rights aside, the gentleman Wookie should have walked with her.  Better yet, he should have growled at her and let him drop her the fuck off the top of the mountain and been all "that's Luke, don't tell him Han is dead, I got that, I'm a better hugger than you are."The star killer base is basically a giant death star with the same problem, they leave a giant sign that says "shoot here" to blow it up.  They also didn't go into how badass it is.  I spaced out on the name of it until I saw that it was literally draining the life from a fucking star so it could shoot a fucking laser beam at 5 planets at the same time and blow them to smithereens!  Why wouldn't they say that "This planet literally sucks the power out of a star, hence the name. Awesome, right?  Don't act like you aren't impressed ghost Vader."The action was done really well, the acting was done really well (Though, a lot of English actors in the movie... Han and Leia have a son who's fucking English.. space English?), the scenery was beautiful and paid homage to the original trilogy quite well. The races were awesome, JJ uses practical effects, which meant suits on people, which is great.Clocked in at just over 2 hours and felt like 25 minutes.  Go see it.  Well worth it, even if you pay the 200 dollars to see it in 3D.