San Andreas. What can I possibly say about this movie? Firstly, it’s fucking terrible. I can get that right out of the way. Anyone going into it expecting anything other than another Emmerich Disaster movie is wasting their time. That being said, I actually enjoyed it. Of course I enjoyed it. There were some definite plusses to the movie and I think I can share them here without really spoiling anything.
The special effects were bitchin’. Of course they were. Just like the plethora of disaster movies before it, San Andreas doesn’t disappoint when it comes to fucking shit up on a grand scale. The west coast basically gets demolished on-screen and it’s glorious. The city destruction, the dam destruction, the open field destruction were all A+++ and if I were to rate the movie solely on its effects, I’d give it a high eight if not nine out of ten. They were that good.
I suppose that’s all that I really have to say about the positive aspects. The acting was horrible and overdone. The plot was ridiculous and not unlike The Day After Tomorrow in every single way. I’m glad Roland Emmerich found his niche because I don’t think he could make anything outside the disaster/family togetherness genre. Now, let’s talk about the cheese and the awful.
They pandered to the bible crowd with one of that actors staying on CNN “god be with San Francisco”. Technically if that’s the frame of mind someone is in, wouldn’t it be their god that was creating the disaster and/or not intervening? There was a group of people in a prayer circle at the end of the film as well. Tacky attempts to pander, if you ask me.
The hokey patriotism at the end of the movie was mind-boggling as well. There was a CGI American flag that unrolled to show it’s complete lack of tattering and damage. I couldn’t find a screenshot on Google so I found a suitable replacement. Suffice to say, patriotism is strong within the disaster movie genre. For pure entertainment and the “leave your brain at the door” mentality, the movie succeeded. That doesn’t get you very far and I’d find it hard to rate it any higher than a three out of ten if I was using a rating system and I think that’s being pretty generous. I won’t lie though… Two and a half of the three stars are for Paul Giamatti because he’s the man.